look Ma, no net!

there's a fine line between Retail Therapy and trying to suppress your pain with buying things. i seem to be an expert tight-rope walker on this one.

i started my day yesterday, with getting my divorce paperwork signed in front of a notary. i expected more pomp and circumstance to this. alas, it was a let down. where's my blue-backed top-of-the-page attached fancy divorce paperwork? it's just regular paper. held with a clip.


anyway. still trying to blindly feel my way down the hallway of my emotions about this, i needed to exchange a christelmas present at the mall. i DID have the day off, why not get some real stuff done?


not finding a UPS store on my way to the mall, i opted to send it later. and headed straight to the mall.

i headed directly to my destination and had 2 things in mind for which i wanted to exchange my original item.

i immediately grabbed the earrings i was longing after... and then asked to see the ring that will replace my wedding ring. "i can always buy the ring later... i am not going to be wearing it for a few weeks... but i could just come back and buy the earrings later..." and then a moment of clarity passed over me.


"I'll take BOTH!"



(sidebar: a few weeks ago, i was talking to Angela about the Zen of Both. its our new take on life. why have either / or? have both! we deserve it. and it's really starting to take hold. from breakfast cereals to perfumes. cocktails to t-shirts... and we are attempting to live by our creed)

so. i now have both.

after leaving the Brighton store, it seemed that Victoria's Secret was having a killer sale as well. i do need more soap. no one should ever run out of soap. and they also had Angela's smell on sale too... and i need new undies... right? because 47 pairs isn't enough, right? Noah could come back, build an ark, and then the rain could start and end and i would STILL not run out of underwear. (and i don't care)

after not batting an eye at trying to melt my credit card at Victoria's Secret, i walked about 7 feet and was compelled into the Bath and Body Works store... with their promises of soapy germ-free goodness at yet another 5 for $15!

so...
more melted plastic later, i have to physically remove myself from the mall.


i realized after i left that since i am on my hardcore diet again, that i COULD have been drowning my sorrows in a bottle of scotch... or about 3 dozen cinnamon rolls (since when does food look like porn to me? gahhh!) i am replacing the usual vices with monetary depletion.




cut to today. for Angela's birthday, i thought it would be a good idea to make the trip to Florida for a few days and a few games. we will rent a convertible. we will have sand in our toes. we will watch baseball! why not go to a regular season game, you ask? because i am a Reds fan. and she is a BoSox fan. (yeah, i know. at least she's not a Spankees fan) and Spring Training is the only time MY team plays her team. and by "plays" i mean "beats the tar out of"...

the point of my baseball words was this. i bought our freaking GAMEDAY tickets today! if i worked at a desk, i would be a Chair Dancing fool!




and will someone PLEASE pry the credit card out of my hand? i either need to get wasted on cinnamon rolls or find another outlet for the emotions that i have going on.

Improved, but not New.

yeah. we all knew it wouldn't be too long before i had to start a new blog.

so welcome to it.

Damn Near Life Sized.


how many different meanings that has in my life right now!

it all got started on christelmas morning when i was opening the gifts from my mom... and there was this giant box with Wizard of Oz on the front of it. and i couldn't even begin to hazard a guess to its contents.

it wasn't too heavy. but filled with styrofoam. as i peeked inside i see black and white stripes and something red and sparkly. i was really interested at this point.

finally the styrofoam comes free from the box with a WHOOSH!
i pry off the top layer...

*blink*

*blink*

*blink blink*


Damn Near Life Sized ceramic replica of the Wicked Witch of the East's legs.

and no. i am not lying.

for your viewing pleasure:

i bet you guys want the BACK story don't you?
nosy buggers, aren't you?


awight here it go.


when i was a weeeeeeeeee lass, i would spend a lot of time up in dallas at my grandparent's house. spring, summer, fall, winter, it didn't matter. and somehow. *MAGICALLY* The Wizard of Oz would come on tv. and i would lay on the linoleum and we would all watch it. i don't know how my Mimi did it. but she always made it come on tv when i was there. so it is a special thing with us. and for the longest time, my veryownpersonal mother never understood the WoO thing between us. she would always ask why i wanted to get the calendar, ornaments, figurines for my Mimi. once year she finally understood. and then last year, my Mimi got really sick. and Mom somehow incorporated my WoO thing into her Christelmas shopping... and THAT is how i got a pair of Damn Near Life Sized Wicked Witch of the East legs.


i know you're jealous. it's ok. i'm used to it.




upon the release of the legs and the discovery of their Damn Near Life Size-ness, the title for this blog was born.



this is a new year. this will bring many changes. my divorce will be final in a week or so. and i am looking forward with new eyes. i am going to be Damn Near Life Sized myownself.


Christel. now with a hint of bitterness, a dash of liberation, but 50% more skip!